Money isn’t the most important thing.

Money isn’t everything. Sometimes, money can cause problems in relationships, especially when one person has a lot more than the other.

This happened to Darren after he got married. He didn’t have as much money as his wife’s family, and this made him feel awkward and embarrassed. He had a strong emotional reaction.

Darren wrote to us for advice: “My wife’s family is very rich. I’m just a regular guy who lives paycheck to paycheck. Her dad paid for the whole wedding. When we went on our honeymoon, my wife flew in first class, but I flew in economy. She just said, ‘Oh well, Dad says he’s not going to give you money all the time.’” This made Darren very angry.

He told us what happened next: “I was so mad I left the plane. Later, her dad called me. He said, ‘I gave you a great wedding and honeymoon, and you didn’t have to pay for anything. Is this how you treat my daughter?’ He also said, ‘My daughter is used to nice things, and I’ll keep giving them to her, but I won’t give you money!’ This made me even angrier.” Darren felt he was being treated unfairly because he wasn’t rich.

Darren explained what he did: “I told him I won’t be treated like this just because I don’t have much money, and I hung up. My wife wanted me to still go on the honeymoon, but I said no. She came back home to talk to me.”

Darren asked us: “Was I wrong to get so upset?” He’s wondering if he overreacted to the situation. He’s trying to figure out if his feelings are valid, or if he should have handled things differently. He’s clearly upset about how he was treated, and unsure how to move forward in his marriage.