Joke: A couple had been married for a long, long time – 50 years!

A couple had been married for a long, long time – 50 years! Every single morning, without missing a day, the husband would let out a huge, loud fart as he got out of bed. And every single morning, he would then laugh and laugh, like it was the funniest thing in the world.

His wife, bless her heart, had heard this routine for 50 years. Every morning, she would tell him, “One of these days, you’re going to fart your guts out!” She said it so often, it became a running joke between them. He’d fart, she’d warn him, and he’d laugh.

Then came Thanksgiving morning. The old man was still asleep, enjoying a bit of extra rest, while his wife was downstairs getting ready to cook the big turkey. She was in the early stages of preparing the bird, and she happened to have a handful of turkey giblets – you know, the heart, liver, and other insides – in her hand. Suddenly, a mischievous idea popped into her head.

Quietly, she tiptoed upstairs and into the bedroom. Her husband was still sound asleep. Very carefully, she pulled back the waistband of his underwear – his “jockey shorts,” as they were sometimes called – and, using all her skill and a little bit of luck, she managed to stuff the warm, squishy turkey giblets into his underwear. She then quietly slipped out of the room, leaving him to his slumber.

About an hour later, the wife was busy in the kitchen when she heard her husband starting to wake up. She heard his feet touch the floor, and then, as usual, she heard the telltale sound of a massive fart. This was followed by his usual boisterous laughter. But then, the laughter stopped. It stopped very suddenly. There was a moment of complete silence, a silence so quiet you could hear a pin drop. And then, a scream! A loud, terrified scream! After that scream, there was ten minutes of absolute, complete silence. Not a sound.

Finally, the husband slowly made his way downstairs. He looked a little pale, and a little shaken. He walked over to his wife and said, “Honey, I owe you a huge apology. For all these years, you’ve been telling me that I was going to fart my guts out. Well, today, it finally happened.” He paused, took a deep breath, and then continued, “But, by the grace of God, and these two fingers…” He then held up his hand, showing his first two fingers, which, well, let’s just say they weren’t exactly clean. “…I got ’em all back in, and I’m going to be okay.”